


it's been a long time coming but

by asongofsnow



Series: royals [3]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Jon and Sansa are Cousins, Longing, Modern Royalty, Modern Westeros, Mutual Pining, Romance, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-07 23:10:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20825369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asongofsnow/pseuds/asongofsnow
Summary: Every time someone had left her, every time someone she loved had gone away to do something crown related, they'd never come back. Father, Mother, Robb and Uncle Benjen, they had all been gone when they died and Sansa didn't think it was possible for her heart to ever settle back again while someone she loved was miles away from the safety of Winterfell. Which must only meant one thing.She loved Jon.





	it's been a long time coming but

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sylviadraft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sylviadraft/gifts).

> For my darling Anni.
> 
> This work is set before
> 
> ####  [home is where the heart is](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20753966)
> 
> and after
> 
> ####  [I don't wanna look at anything else (now that I saw you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20778356)
> 
> but can probably be read on it's own.
> 
> Title of this work is from miss americana and the heart break prince by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Here's a little edit I made for it on tumblr: https://sansaravenclaw.tumblr.com/post/188052263167/she-sighed-closing-her-eyes-and-willing-herself

She'd been staring at the ceiling for about twenty minutes. The clock on her nightstand kept ticking, and usually Sansa didn't mind the incessant noise, but today she could hear every single sound in the room, and they were all driving her mad. She couldn't sleep, no matter how hard she tried, and yet she refused to acknowledge the reason why she was still awake way past her bedtime. It was unusual that the Queen had a bedtime, but she did have to wake up early in the morning to attend some meetings with a few lords and ladies, and she would also be busy most of the afternoon, tending to the preparations of Arya's birthday party that would happen within fifteen days. So, it wasn't so weird for her to need a bedtime that night. What was weird was the fact that the Queen was being kept awake simply by the longing in her chest, which she did not yet started to accept.

Jon had been gone for two days, and it would be two weeks until his return, right on time for her sister's birthday. He had to attend a few matters north of the Wall, and those two weeks would be the longest that he'd been away from them - from _ her _\- since he'd come back to Winterfell over six months ago for the funeral. He had taken many trips since then, most of them to his own kingdom but a few down South as well, spending only a couple of days away, sometimes a week, but never longer than that. And each time Sansa would lie awake at night, wondering about him, trying to make sense of her feelings and trying to come up with the courage to express them.

She just didn't like it when he wasn't there with them. Every time someone had left her, every time someone she loved had gone away to do something crown related, they'd never come back. Father, Mother, Robb and Uncle Benjen, they had all been gone when they died and Sansa didn't think it was possible for her heart to ever settle back again while someone she loved was miles away from the safety of Winterfell. Which must only meant one thing.

She _loved _Jon.

She sighed, closing her eyes and willing herself to go to sleep before she would start the day tomorrow with huge dark circles that were no fit for a Queen. Had she really fallen in love with Jon? She didn't want to think about that. She had never been in love with anyone before, not really, not the kind of love that was like a dagger in her chest whenever he would go away but a breath of fresh air whenever he was with her. She missed Jon, that much she knew, and she was determined to pretend for a little longer that missing him was all she felt.

He had texted her once, when he arrived, letting her know everything was okay, but said nothing more, and neither had she. She wasn't very good at texting, and she didn't like talking to people without being able to look at their faces and their eyes and to know what they were truly thinking. Jon wasn't really much of a texter either, and the lack of news from him was driving her insane. At last, she decided sleep wouldn't come so soon, and that maybe a glass of warm milk would help calm her nerves. She could phone down and ask one of the servants to bring it to her, but she preferred to walk to the kitchen herself, determined to burn some energy in the process. She got up with a huff of annoyance, grabbed a purple silk robe and wrapped it around herself, heading out the door with a slow but steady pace. She greeted the night guards in the hallways as she made her way through, but something stopped her from getting out of the sleeping quarters of the castle. Jon's door was just a smidge open, which was entirely unusual since the rooms that weren't in use were kept shut, specially the ones with personal belongings in them. Sansa approached the door, opening it to check if something was wrong, and she saw the big mountain of fur lying on top of the master bed.

She had no idea Ghost slept in the room with Jon. Usually the dogs would all bundle up together in bed with Rickon, except for Summer, who slept at the foot of Bran's bed. She opened the door to get a better view of the dog, and the scent of the room hit her hard, evoking as sorts of memories. It smelled a little like Jon, she realized. Like old leather and aftershave and dog hair and also Jon. She had missed that smell since the minute he left for the airport and to sense it now only served to increase her longing.

Ghost whined in his sleep, his ears moving slightly down, and Sansa thought of Lady as baby. Before she died, whenever the dog would have nightmares Sansa would sing to her, softly, and that always helped Lady settle in her sleep. Without really thinking, she made her way from the door to the bed, standing next to Ghost as his whining continued. She tried running her fingers through his white fur and found out it was softer than any of the dogs in the house. _ Jon must brush him. _The thought made her pleased, brushing the coat of Lady's fur was something Sansa loved to do as a girl, and she was glad Jon was as careful of his dog as she once was of hers. She began humming a soft melody, something she used to sing to Rickon when he was just a baby, while still running her fingers through Ghost's fur. He settled faster than she had expected, only to realize that he had actually woken up and was lying still for her. She smiled, lowering her head to kiss him on the forehead, whispering to him.

"How did you get in here, boy? Did Jon taught you how to open doors?"

He simply stared at her with his red eyes, and Sansa smiled. She scratched behind his ears one more time and turned around to leave, but before she could take more than four steps the dog whined again. She turned her head to face him, and he was half standing on the bed, staring at her, his big tail shaking.

"What is it, boy?"

The dog stayed quiet, looking at Sansa and his eyes were deep red in the dark room. She sighed, turning around to leave and Ghost whined again, this time louder, and she was sure the guards in the corridor must've heard him. She turned around completely to stare at the dog and he gave her the saddest look a dog had ever given anyone ever. He probably just didn't want to be alone anymore.

She could sympathize with that.

"Come along, then, you can sleep in my bed." Yet Ghost stayed still, looking at her. "Come on, boy, let's go, it's too late for games."

She waved her hand at him, signaling for him to come with her but he simply moved his head sideways. Sansa was beginning to lose her temper. She'd be positively tired in the morning, and the gods knew how much of a pain she could be when she was in a bad mood. She tried one more time, determined to leave him whining if he didn't comply.

"Ghost, with me. Come."

This time he did move, only to pat the bed with his two front paws. Sansa frowned, beginning to understand. "You want me to sleep here?"

Ghost's tail began wiggling back and forth at the sound of that. She couldn't, though. To sleep in Jon's room, in his bed, uninvited, was the most improper thing she could do. She was the Queen, she couldn't simply get out of bed in the middle of the night to cuddle with her cousin's dog in his room while he was away traveling. What would the servants think of it, when they came looking for her in the morning and she wasn't there? Would Arya make fun of her? Would she suspect Sansa's true feelings for Jon? She couldn't risk it, there was too much at stake for her to behave in such ways.

Yet still.

Ghost whined one more time and she made her way to the bed, getting under the covers. He snuggled himself next to her, being the little spoon despite his size when she wrapped one of her arms around his giant torso. The pillows smelled like Jon, clearly, almost as if he was in bed next to her, and she closed her eyes, already feeling her tiredness overcome her.

"Just tonight, okay? Tomorrow we'll sleep in my room."

Ghost was already snoring quietly. She would wake up early and sneak back in her room, trusting that the night guards wouldn't tell on her. She was the Queen, she could do as she pleased. She'd just have to make sure no one found out about it.

_ Just one night. He never needs to know. _

Sansa quickly fell asleep.

* * *

One night became every night for the entirely of those two weeks. The first few days Sansa would go to bed in her own chambers, trying desperately to fall asleep but being unable to calm her nerves. Then, she would go to Jon's, begging for Ghost to come back with her but he never did, so she would end up snuggling in bed next to the giant dog, sleeping peacefully until the early hours in the morning, when she would wake up and quickly make her way back to her chambers. The guards never said a thing, nor did the one maid that had found her one day, still in Jon's bed with Ghost, having overslept and missed her cue to leave discreetly. They all pretended like it was absolutely normal for the Queen in The North to be sneaking off during late hours to sleep somewhere she had no business sleeping in.

Everything was fine. Everything except the fact that the pillows were beginning to smell less like Jon and more like her.

She hated how much she missed his smell.

She hated how much she missed him.

* * *

Jon exhaled loudly while going up the stairs. He was exhausted and he wanted nothing more than to lay in bed for three days straight, without having to worry about appointments with clan leaders or immigration arrangements for his people to travel back and forth at the frontier. The trip north of the Wall had been stressful, to say the least, and he kept feeling out of place somewhere he had once felt at home. In the months he had spent in Winterfell, his body seemed to have adjusted more and more to the heat - even if Winterfell was still colder than anywhere else in Westeros - and during the two weeks he'd been away he had tried very hard to convince himself that the warmth of the castle was all he missed.

He failed completely.

His poor heart was at his cousin's mercy and there was no denying it, not when he had insisted to fly back to her a day early, just so that he could be there when she woke up, just so that he could see her beautiful smile first thing in the morning, hear her pretty voice reading the daily news out loud at breakfast, smell her nice perfume while taking a walk in the garden. He had missed Arya and Bran and Rickon, of course. More and more they felt like his siblings, and he loved them with all their hearts. He had missed Ghost dearly as well, and had deeply regretted not bringing his most loyal companion with him on the trip. But most of all, he had missed Sansa, in many ways he had no business missing her, and to realize the truth of it all had made him come to a simple conclusion.

Jon wasn't stupid. He knew the way she looked at him, he'd noticed how happy she was every time he was back from one of his trips. He had flirted with her a few times, and her response had been surprisingly positive, even if she was shy, trying to maintain the manners that a Queen should have. He liked that he pushed her buttons, getting her all flustered when they would talk about something she deemed improper, and he also liked their honest talks, the way she would open up to him sometimes, when it was just the two of them.

He liked the way he had started to open up to her as well.

He sighed, the exhaustion of the trip taking over him the closer he got to his chambers. It was late, almost one, and he had greeted the night guards with his head on each corridor. They all seemed surprised to see him, since he wasn't expected to get there until the next night, and Jon had noticed some of them looking rather packined about his arrival, but none said a thing. Had he been more awake he would've wondered why, maybe even asked one of the guards what was wrong, but in his current state he wanted nothing more than to get to his room, get out of his very constricting clothes and go to bed. Tomorrow he would see Sansa, and he wanted to have a good night's sleep to be in the best mood possible for what he was determined to ask her.

He got to his room and opened the door, not bothering to turn on the light. The darkness had never bothered him, he even preferred it sometimes. He closed the door behind and dropped his bag on the ground, and he heard a whine coming from the direction of the bed. It was impossible to miss the mount of white fur that was Ghost, laying between his covers, looking at him with his red eyes. Jon smiled at the sight of him, it wasn't unusual for the dog to sleep in his bed when they were together. Before he could wonder why Ghost hadn't come to greet him at the entrance if he was awake, Jon noticed the second mount, laying next to Ghost, her arms circling the dog's fur while she slept soundly.

_Sansa. _

It was hard for him to believe at first, but it was true. As he came closer, taking slow steps as to not make any sound, Ghost grew impatient and started trying to wiggle his way out of Sansa's embrace. That caused her to stir in her sleep and Jon lifted a hand to the dog, who stayed quiet, only his eyes indicating the need to get to his owner. Jon got to the bed and gently scratched behind the dog's ears, giving him a kiss on the head while never taking his eyes away from Sansa's sleeping figure.

She looked very peaceful, her lips slightly parted, her long hair untied and sprawled all over his pillow, and he smiled at the sight of her there, in the dark, sleeping where he slept, holding his dog in her arms, as if she too were entitled to his space. And she was, really. He might not have yet told her about his feelings, might not have yet had the courage to ask her for something that should be so simple, and yet for them was not, but in his heart he was sure she knew already, otherwise she would've never let herself get so comfortable in his bed. It was completely improper for her to be there, at such late hours, sleeping so carefreely, and for her to do so must only meant that she had missed him just the same as he had missed her, and that was what gave Jon the courage he needed to voice his feelings.

First, she’d have to be awake, and as he sat on the bed next to her, admiring her beautiful face in the dark room, listening to her soft breaths, he wondered if he should not just let her sleep a little longer, let her stay there, where she seemed so at ease. It was a rare sight, to see her without the weight that she carried daily, and he would've let her continue at peace if he didn't think that talk would spread easily around the castle if they both stayed alone in the room for much longer. So, gently, he lifted a hand and ran it through her hair, whispering her name softly as to not startle her.

"Sansa."

She only snuggled herself further into the bed, pressing her nose against Ghost's fur, and he smiled wider at how wonderful she was. He tried touching her lightly on the shoulder this time, his voice a little louder but still soft.

"Sansa, darling. Wake up."

She let out a groan, yet to open her eyes. Her voice sounded hoarse from sleep, and she mumbled the words into Ghost's back.

"Leave me alone."

Jon chuckedle lightly, looking absolutely amused at her. "I would love to, darling, but you're sleeping in my bed."

At that she opened her eyes, sitting up in a hurry and almost crashing herself into him, and he could only laugher louder at her her bemused state. She ran a hand through her hair, collecting the strands that had flown to her face and grabbed the covers tightly with the other, lifting them to her chest, and Jon knew that if it wasn't for the darkness in the room he would find the most adorable blush on her face.

"Jon!"

And the exasperated way in which she said his name was enough for him to know that the next time she would be in his bed, he would be right beside her.

* * *

Sansa was mortified.

He was not supposed to be there. He was most definitely not supposed to be there, sitting in his own bed while looking at her with a smile. She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do, she just grabbed the covers tighter, her mind racing and yet so incapable of forming any words at all. Her bastard of a cousin who she loved so deeply and truly was not supposed to be back from his trip until the next night, and yet he sat there, having caught her sleeping in his bed embracing his dog and probably drooling on his pillow.

She was totally and completely mortified.

“You seemed really comfortable there, it’s a shame I had to wake you.”

And she’d never hear the end of it.

“Jon, I-” She ran a hand through her face, sighing loudly and deciding that the only course of action would be to admit her defeat. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came onto to me.”

She made move to lift herself off the bed and he got up, allowing her to pull her - very bare, and she thanked the gods for the darkness in the room - legs out of the covers and standing up as well. She kept on talking while grabbing her purple robe from the chair nearest to the bed and she hated that Jon was still smiling, all smug and cocky and absolutely gorgeous.

“It’s just, I came here because Ghost had opened the door and he didn’t want to be left alone and I tried telling him to go to my room with me but he’s very stubborn, much like you actually, so I was forced to stay even if I asked him, no, begged him, really, to come back with me everyday.”

She said all that in a rushn without looking directly at him and just hoping that he would believe her. He must, or she would have to embarrass herself more than she already had and she desperately desired anything but that. And even if she was absolutely furious with him for having come home early and caught her totally off guard she was also so relieved to see him standing there that she had almost forgotten herself and ran into his arms like a little girl longing for comfort. It was late, she was flustered, and all this would be much easier if Jon wasn’t such a smug man, and at his silence she lifted her eyes to his face, seeing the most cheeky smirk he had ever given her, and she knew she had said something heavily incriminating.

“So you slept here every night I was gone?”

_ Shit. _

She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but he beat her to it. “Don’t you dare lie to me, _ Your Grace. _That’s hardly proper behavior and you’ve already been so improper tonight.”

She couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes at him, furious at his mocking of her. Keeping her mouth shut, she started making way to the door, decided not to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much his words affected her more than she already had, but before she could go far Jon took hold of her wrist, turning her around to him with a gentle tug.

“Sansa.”

“What?”

He simply stared at her in silence, still smiling, and she could feel herself getting hot everywhere and she _ hated _it. The exasperation of the moment took over her and she resumed her speaking.

“Look, it’s not my fault that your dog is so needy and disobedient that he made me stay here with him every night just so that he wouldn’t be lonely and if you’re going to give me a hard time about this then you should just really-”

“_ Sansa. _”

“Gods, Jon, what?!”

“I missed you too.”

The room seemed to grow quieter at that. She didn’t know if it was her still half asleep mind that gave her the courage to talk, but she was thankful that Jon could not completely see her in the dark. “You did?”

“Aye, I did. I miss you everyday that I am gone, I think about you everyday that I’m not near you. And it seems like you have missed me too.”

“I have.”

Her heart beat unsteady in her chest. Jon took a step closer, then another, his body almost pressed with hers. His hand still had hold of her wrist, and he lifted the other to her face, caressing her cheek gently, and she fought the urge to close her eyes and lean into his touch. His thumb then went to trace her lips, and she saw him lick his own before speaking again, his voice lower this time.

“We should talk in the morning, then. There’s something I wish to ask you. It would be best if you went to bed, though, it’s awful late and I fear that I have kept you long enough for it not to be at least some gossip about all this fuss tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

And yet he did not let go of his hold on her, nor did she make any effort to move. They were frozen in place, staring at each other’s eyes, the sound of their rapid breaths mingling together with Ghost’s soft snores.

“There’s something else I wanted to ask you that I fear it cannot wait until the morning, and I beg you to forgive me if I’m being too forward with this, the plane trip has certainly left my mind in a haze and you have every to be offended at this but-”

“Ask me, Jon.”

She could tell he was nervous as well, maybe just as flustered as she was, behind all that smugness he was always so fond of portraying. Releasing her wrist from his grip, she intertwined her fingers with his, lifting her free hand to mimic the same gesture he had just done to her, caressing his lips with her thumb while speaking. The darkness had made her bold, it seemed, the darkness and of course his confession to her, and she decided to continue to act on her feelings, like she had been doing every night for the past two weeks.

“I’m listening.” 

Her thumb was still over his mouth when he spoke, his hot breath on her skin making her shiver.

“May I kiss you?”

She gave him no answer, pushing herself closer to him while bringing her hand to grab at his hair near the base of his neck. Jon’s both hands were cupping her face when he smashed his lips into hers, and she used her free hand to grab at his shirt and pull him closer, as if it was possible for them to be more pressed together then they already were. The kiss was nothing like she had ever experienced before, Jon’s grip on her was firm, but his lips moved softly, kissing her like they had all the time in the world available to them. His tongue slowly caressed her lips, urging her to open up for him, and she did, eager to deepen the kiss and feel him closer still. He let go of her face to grab at her hair and waist, securing her tightly against him while walking forward, and if it wasn't for his arm around her Sansa would most definitely have tripped over her own feet. Her back hit the door with a soft bang that surely must've been heard by the guards, but she paid it no mind.

"I'm sorry." Jon said, while moving his lips from her mouth to her neck, nibbing lightly at her skin and making her feel on fire. She pulled at his hair with more force this time and Jon groaned, bringing his lips back to her, kissing her eagerly, his tongue exploring her mouth. She sighed softly into the kiss, feeling hot and light head and totally aware of their state of inappropriateness at that moment, and the Queen that lived in begged her to pull herself together.

Fortunately, or not, she listened.

Letting go of his hair, she pushed Jon lightly with her hands and he backed off just enough to free her lips, touching his forehead to hers, keeping her pressed against the door still. She could very well feel the shape of his body against her, and she tried not to think too much about how she was enjoying the pressure his hips were applying on her. Their breaths were uneven and their stared at each other, Jon waiting for her to speak and she trying to make her brain work again in order to speak the words she needed to say.

"I need to go to bed."

He looked at her lips when she spoke, then at her eyes again, giving her a small smirk while slowly freeing her from his embrace.

"Yes, you do."

“We’ll talk in the morning then?”

He was still close, only a step away from her, and she wished she could see him better, wished to know if he seemed as bewitched by her as she sure was by him. There would be time later to talk things through, yes, but part of her just wished she could have stayed in the room with Jon, let him love her like she wanted to be loved, and then go to bed together, the two of them and Ghost, for it was where they belonged. Had their lives be others that would’ve been possible, but it wasn’t as simple, not for two heads of state such as themselves, and Sansa needed to remind herself of where she was and specially, who she was. It was late, she needed to be up early in the morning, and so did Jon. Her need for intimacy could wait.

“Aye, we will.”

“Goodnight, Jon.”

“Goodnight, Sansa.”

She turned around and ran a hand through her hair, trying to smooth it out, took a deep breath and opened the door to the hallway, letting the light in. Before she left, she turned her face to Jon again, seeing him completely for the first time that night. His lips were pink and plump, his hair messy, his cheeks were slightly red, and he was looking at her like with such foundeness that it almost made her turn around and shut the door so that she could be with him.

Almost.

“I’m glad you’re back.”

“I’m glad too.”

He smiled at her, genuinely, and she smiled back, knowing she wouldn’t be able to hide the happiness from her face while she passed the night guards on the way to her chambers. _ Let them see. Everyone deserves a little happiness once, even the ice Queen. _

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure why but the ideas for this series keep coming to me, so I had to write this. I hope you enjoyed it.  
I'm @sansaravenclaw on twitter and tumblr if you ever wanna chat.  
As always, English is not my first language so excuse any mistakes in this, i'll be fixing them as soon as I can.  
Thank you so much for reading, you guys give me life :)  
Xxxxxx


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